Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Look Busy Do Nothing

A busy (!) day in the life of an “LBDN” Private Secretary
- S. Balakrishnan
[45th PA (Refresher) Course Batch ISTM - Dec. 2007]

May I introduce myself as one belonging to the tribe of LBDN (Look Busy Do Nothing) Private Secretaries, working and living in Chennai? Here is a leaf from my busy daily grind:

I arrive at the office by 9.15 AM sharp, the scheduled time, merely to beat the chaotic traffic of Chennai city. Thus I appear to be very punctual or over punctual, to the sneer of others. The earlier boss used to beat me in this game; he used to reach even before me, to beat the traffic and also literally to beat the staff with his harsh comments, if they come late, which was not unusual.

The first thing I do is to freshen up myself. Remove the grime and sweat of the traffic, to make me a little presentable. After all, any visitor would have to have a darshan of me before meeting my boss.

Is everything okay in the boss’ chamber? I see to it and ensure that the AC is in full swing - to keep the boss cool! Maybe he had a tiff with his wife in the morning!

I ensure if any fax has been received and lying around - may be my boss had been transferred in a midnight operation! What a wistful thinking.

Then I check the official e-mail accounts - three of them in all. If need be, printouts are taken. More of spam and junk than official communication. I must agree that some spams are very tempting and interesting - you have won this much amount in this lottery and the like.

Next thing, I browse our office website “www.pibchennai.gov.in” and then our HQ website www.pib.nic.in to keep in touch with the updates. Again, if necessary, printouts are taken, if not for my boss’ use at least to showoff that I am alert and working.

E-mail accounts and website are browsed at least thrice daily - in the morning, noon and before calling it a day, which may actually be in the night!

Then I check our Intranet for latest communication from our HQ; this is to crosscheck if the rumours about transfers/postings have actually materialized - who is in and who is out.

By this time it is time for snail mail (ordinary post and speed post). They are opened and sorted out; anything needing immediate action and reminded for the umpteenth time is taken a copy and sent to the section concerned for further inaction.

Meanwhile, fax machine will keep me busy with communication from HQ and Branch Offices. Also, press releases from different sources will be pouring in. Action as above is taken - anything needing immediate attention is taken a copy and sent to the section concerned ... Publicity or Admn. My job is over; I have passed on the buck.

Nowadays, communication pouring through courier service is another added headache; it keeps pouring in throughout the day. The irritant is the multiple stapler pins.

In between, phone calls will also have to be attended to; these have to be handled sensitively, because we get calls directly from Union Ministers’ offices, Media, and the Public, besides our HQ & Branches. Call it tactfully handling the phone calls, but sometimes I have to say countless lies to manage the situation. Needless to say, there will be some gossip calls among the group of private secretaries and comments about our bosses.

In the melee, I also mange to go through at least one newspaper; it is essential to keep abreast of the happenings as our office (Press Information Bureau) deals with both the Press and the Public on behalf of the Union Govt.

As and when the boss arrives, the official ‘dak’, e-mail and downloads are sent in, arranged in the order of priority - personal communication on the top and official communication at the bottom!

Unless there is something to draw his immediate personal attention to, I do not enter his chamber as long as I am not called in, not even for the customary “Good Morning”. In case he is in a bad mood, it may turn out to be a “bad morning”; hence I try my best to postpone the personal confrontation. It is okay over intercom - at least I can bang the receiver (after he has banged his receiver).

Then the routine grind starts - dictation, transcription, DFA, correction, re-correction(s), draft fair copy, fair copy, final fair copy, e-mail/fax/post and confirmation of fax over phone, etc. With some bosses, finishing just one letter a day itself is a Himalayan task.

Depending on the boss, I take the liberty to correct grammatical errors and reframe sentences. After all, to err is human. Are not the bosses human; some think they are super(hu)man.

When files are sent through me, I go through them to see if everything is okay and something is not amiss. This is just a ruse to establish my supremacy and to have an inkling of the happenings.

Handling visitors is a ticklish issue, especially when people come seeking publicity. With my boss being declared as the Central Public Information Officer (CPIO) under the Right to Information Act, one more sensitive job is to handle the applicants under the RTI Act. It is another thing that when I sought information from our office under RTI Act, I was treated shabbily and that I had to approach Central Information Commission to get what I wanted to know. It seems Preaching and Practising never go together.

Part of the duty of a PS is to coordinate and keep track of the movement of staff car and keep silent even if it is being officially misused.

Now and then, our office also organizes press conferences for central ministers/ministries/departments in our own conference hall. Before, during and after the press meet, there will be hectic activity, especially if Central Ministers are to address the press meet.

Of late, it has become a part of our role to conduct 5-day Public Information Campaigns (PIC) in the districts. This involves lot of correspondence and phone calls. It is a different thing that the acronym PIC has obtained an entirely different connotation nowadays.

If the boss is on the move, the process starts right from claiming tour advance and ends with the submission of settlement bill. If the boss is a fussy one, travel arrangements become that more difficult to handle.

All in all, the job of a Look-Busy-Do-Nothing (LBDN) PS is a thankless job, despite having to tell lot of lies on behalf of the boss, besides being his eyes and ears. We have to reach the office before the boss reaches but leave only after he leaves. We are stuck to our seat. The saddest part is that whereas the whole office will be enjoying, we are stuck to our seat even during the absence of our boss!
-/-

S. Balakrishnan
PS to ADG
Press Information Bureau
M/o I. & B.
Shastri Bhawan, Haddows Road
Chennai - 600 006
krishnanbala2004@yahoo.co.in
45th PA (Refresher) Course Batch - Dec. 2007

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